


all i have to do is dream

by kyluxtrashcompactor



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bartender Kylo Ren, Crushes, Lonely Armitage Hux, M/M, May the Fourth Be With You!, Missed Connections, Mutual Pining, Older Benarmie, Phasma Ships It, Romantic Fluff, Three Times Hux Has No Clue And One Time He Does, in which the only thing denser than Hux is a black hole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-02-23 20:29:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyluxtrashcompactor/pseuds/kyluxtrashcompactor
Summary: Armitage Hux has been going to the same bar every Thursday for the last year, nursing a crush on the gorgeous, unobtainable bartender, Kylo Ren. He finally gets up the courage to ask him out, only to find out he has some unusual competition: the memory of a red-haired boy from Kylo's past, who Kylo swears is the soulmate that got away from him.A fill for this SoftKyluxKinks prompt:Anonymous asked: Benarmie with young Ben (around 11 years old) having a huge crush on Armitage (16). Hux finds it adorable but mostly ignores him because he's a kid. Flash forward a few years when Ben is all grown up and Hux is the one with a huge crush.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is from [All I Have To Do Is Dream by the Everly Brothers.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8)

 

The best way to describe how he felt was _wilted_. His usual military-perfect posture had disintegrated as the day wore on, leaving him with rounded shoulders and an ache between his shoulder blades. His head felt too heavy, and his skull too full of problems he couldn’t solve—not today, and maybe not ever.

And so he had resolved to drink. Or, more accurately, he resolved to stay carefully just this side of drunk so the gorgeous, black haired, golden eyed bartender would keep serving him.

Hux stifled a yawn as he tugged open the door of The Dark Side, wedging himself through the knot of boisterous, alcohol-fueled patrons going in the opposite direction. He caught the eye of the impossibly tall, blue-eyed bouncer as he stepped over the threshold, and he frowned at the smirk she gave him, like she knew something he didn’t.

“Got some competition tonight, Red,” she told him, her piercing gaze swinging away from Hux toward the bar, and Hux paused, following her glance.

He bristled, a chilly feeling that made the hair on his arms stand up and a tight line form between his eyebrows, exacerbating his headache. Kylo Ren, quite possibly the man of his dreams, was behind the bar just like he was every Thursday night. He was absently rolling a rocks glass across the white cloth draped over his fingers, polishing the smudges while he listened to a man on the other side of the rail. Kylo wore that lopsided grin that showed just a glimpse of his teeth, the little crinkle around his eyes that appeared when he was amused, and faint color on his cheeks.

Hux blew out a lungful of air through his nose, the tightness in his chest subsiding only a little. Someone jostled his shoulder, tipping him away from the door, where he’d frozen. He adjusted his glasses and ran his fingers over the two-day, end-of-his-rope stubble on his chin, and threw Phasma a nonchalant look.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said.

She snorted, pressing the door open with her shoulder for another pair of newcomers. “Okay, Prince of Denial. Enjoy your cocktails.”

Hux rolled his eyes, starting toward the bar with a confidence that lasted all of four seconds. His step faltered when he saw Kylo throw his head back with a genuine laugh—not that fake chuckle he reserved for the awkward over-sharers. It would have been easier to watch if the man leaning toward him across the bar, one elbow on the lacquered wooden surface and a neat whiskey halfway to his lips, wasn’t himself an absolute knockout.

Hux almost left. His self-esteem had already taken a full-frontal assault this afternoon in a face-to-face with his CEO, and the last thing he needed was to be eclipsed in the one place he wanted to shine the most.

But then Kylo looked at him, and he was caught in that inescapable tractor beam that drew him toward the bar, dazed by the soft smile and the little flick of a wave Kylo gave him. Hux willed his damnable ginger coloring not to betray how much he _liked_ that smile, how intensely he’d convinced himself that Kylo never smiled at anyone else like that as he slid onto a stool.

He’d put three people and an empty seat between himself and The Other Guy, which pulled Kylo away from him. He still had the rocks glass between his hands, circling the rim of it, and he set it down in front of Hux with a _clink_.

“Hi, Hux” he said, that same, almost shy smile on his pretty lips. He whisked a bottle of Kentucky bourbon off the rail shelf, tipping it over the glass. “Good day or bad?” he asked.

“Bad,” Hux told him, grimacing, and Kylo poured him two fingers instead of one.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked Hux, sliding the bottle back into the shelf with a jangle of glass on glass. With nothing to do with his hands now, Kylo wound the white cloth around one hand, then unwound it, then did it again while Hux took his first, blessed sip of bourbon.

“Don’t you get tired of people telling you their sob stories?” he asked with a hesitant smile over the rim of his glass, not sure if he wanted Kylo to say yes or no.

“Sometimes,” Kylo admitted. “But I make exceptions when there’s a British accent involved.”

Hux definitely colored this time—he could feel warmth rising sharply in the meaty part of his cheeks, and he was grateful for the simple of excuse of the liquor still wet on his lips. Part of Hux wanted to spill his story, which wasn’t much more than an age-old tale of not being good enough, not meeting the expectations that everyone else had for you. The rest of him, the larger part, just wanted Kylo Ren to think he was something special.

He gave Kylo a tight smile, glancing down the packed bar, with its eclectic clientele—a mix of college students from the art school a few blocks away and newly minted, business class hipsters. “It’s busy in here tonight, huh?”

Hux saw Kylo’s face fall, his eyes lose that sparkle as he looked down. The easy, open smile that always felt so genuine to Hux vanished and was replaced, when he looked up again, with that generic one that he gave everybody else. Hux wondered desperately what he’d said wrong.

“‘Bout the same as usual for a Thursday,” Kylo said, bending down and grabbing the bus tub under the counter and hefting it up. He held it hip level, and Hux’s eyes were drawn to the corded muscle of his forearms. “Lemme know if you need something,” he added, and then he was walking back down the bar, disappearing into the back with the dirty dishes.

“Fuck,” Hux muttered to himself, dropping his head into his hand and massaging his temples. He pictured Phasma telling him that he “had some competition tonight,” and wondered suddenly if Kylo _knew_ . Was he aware that Hux—a thirty-four year old engineer who was in bed most nights by eight and read technical manuals for fun—warmed a bar stool here on Thursday nights where he stuck out like a sore thumb _just_ because he had an incredible crush on the bartender?

The thought made him cold, and he actually reached for his wallet and started to fumble it open with numb fingers, planning to throw a twenty down and flee. Before he could get the bill free, however, a presence dropped down against the bar beside him. He looked, startled, and found Phasma propped there on one elbow.

“What?” he said, giving her what he thought was a severe frown. It scared his interns, at least.

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” she said, quirking one blonde eyebrow. The overhead lights winked on the metal stud piercing it.

“I don’t—”

“—know what I’m talking about, right,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’re transparent.”

Hux’s fingers had a choke-hold on his wallet, bending the fine leather. “I think this borders on harassment,” he said. “Maybe I should talk to the owner.”

Phasma leaned just a bit closer, her smile turning darkly gleeful. “I _am_ the owner,” she said. “Now ask him out or get out of my bar.”

Hux gaped after her as she pushed off the bar and sauntered back through the crowd, waving at a dark-haired girl who pummeled her with a hug seconds later. He was tempted to take her advice, and not the _asking Kylo out_ part.

But would she suggest that just to embarrass Hux? Was she just hoping to see him fall on his face so she could enjoy his humiliation? He couldn’t make an argument against it—but would she set Kylo up for the same? For some reason, he doubted it. Whenever he saw them together, they looked like real friends. Like the sort that hung out after work and told each other secrets.

Hux sipped his drink and thought, risking a glance now and then down the bar rail where Kylo moved back and forth between the taps and his customers. Hux had gotten good at picking his voice out above the din of boisterous yammering and indie rock—he had a good, deep voice, the kind that resonated in the chest. He’d imagined that voice a hundred times sounding sated and sleepy, breath warm against Hux’s ear, Kylo laying next to him, sharing a pillow.

Maybe Hux was just a creepy stalker, or maybe Phasma was right. Or both. He should ask Kylo out. Hux would be thirty-five in three weeks and he hadn’t been on a date in two years. His last, awkward hook up had left him unsatisfied, and he knew why—knew the next one would feel the same way until he either got what he really wanted, or let it go and moved on.

_Only one way to do that._

He brought his glass to his lips, rotating it to catch the light on the rim and watched it reflect off the amber bourbon. He stared into the drink like it was his own personal wishing well, and it gave him the kind of answer alcohol was best at: _drink me, and go for it._

So he did. He tossed it back and felt it slide down his throat to settle hot in his belly. The warmth of it spread quickly to his limbs, easing the tension in his shoulders, and almost the moment he set the glass on the bar, empty, Kylo materialized like a genie.

“Feeling better?” he asked Hux, that soft smile coming back as he took Hux’s glass in his hand.

Hux swallowed, his resolve drying up in his throat. He was a lot of things, but smooth wasn’t one of them. He’d almost rather grab a beverage napkin, leave his number on it, and run, but that’s the kind of thing that Kylo would forget about. It probably happened to him all the time.

“Could use another,” he told Kylo honestly. “And maybe that talk, if you’re still available.” He almost winced at how formal that had sounded.

Kylo raised both eyebrows, an expression that looked like some mix of curious and interested. He picked up the bottle of bourbon and poured Hux another round.

“Sounds serious,” he said.

Kylo’s fingers were still on the glass, and Hux reached out and touched it as well, feeling a little electric shock when Kylo didn’t take his away, so that their fingertips met.

“I was um...wondering,” Hux started, having to clear his throat around the knot at the base of his tongue. “If you have anyone special.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a second, mortified. _Who the fuck says that?_ Only grandmothers ask a question like that.

When he managed to look up and meet Kylo’s eyes, he was relieved to find he didn’t look disgusted, or even amused. Nor did he look sorry for Hux. In fact, Hux couldn’t read his face at all.

Kylo still didn’t take his hand off the glass, and now his fingertips were like two points of fire burning into Hux’s. Kylo ran his tongue over his top lip, then bit into the bottom one before he answered.

“There’s been someone special for a while, actually,” he said, eyes flitting over Hux’s face, coming back to meet his gaze. “But he wouldn’t give me the time of day.”

Hux stared. “Oh,” was all he could think of to say. Then, inspired, he added, “What’s wrong with him?”

This brought a burst of bright laughter from Kylo, who finally let go of the glass. Just in time, too, because Hux needed a drink.

“Nothing. That’s the problem,” Kylo said. “He’s perfect, and I’m not.”

Despite Kylo’s lighthearted demeanor, Hux sensed a sadness behind the words, and thought Kylo meant that.

“I don’t believe that,” Hux said.

“Which part?”

“The part where...well, either of them. What’s so perfect about this guy?”

Hux felt like someone else was speaking out of his mouth. Someone a lot bolder. But he’d always been like that—if he was going to crash and burn, might as well do it spectacularly.

Kylo seemed to hesitate, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell this story, and for a moment Hux thought he’d blown it, and was going to have to find another bar to sit in to feel existentially sorry for himself. Then Kylo leaned down, propping both elbows on the edge of the bar and lowering his voice.

“I went to high school with him,” he began. “Well, and middle school too, but he was a lot older than me. Like five years.”

“So you’re into older men?” Hux teased, trying to look like he wasn’t relieved. He had no idea how much older he was than Kylo, but he knew it wasn't insignificant.

Kylo grinned in return. “Very,” he said, turning Hux’s skin pink by allowing his eyes to trail down Hux’s neck, where his crisp, white shirt was unbuttoned at the throat. “It’s a curse,” Kylo added.

Hux swallowed another sip of bourbon. “So if this kid was so much older than you, how’d you know him?”

Kylo picked at the skin around one thumb with the nail of his forefinger. “I didn’t, really. At least not up close. I was always too shy to talk to him.”

Now it was Hux’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “I can’t really picture you as shy,” he said.

Kylo smiled in what Hux thought was a sad way. “I used to be. I remember I used to go to all his track meets when I was 11. He was sixteen. Tall, with these long, white legs that went on for miles.”

“Nice pun,” Hux snorted.

Kylo huffed a small laugh. “He had red hair, too. That's always done it for me.”

Hux’s pulse picked up, thrumming in his ears. “So you saw him at a track meet when you were 11 and you’re still thinking about him, all these years later?” What he wanted to say was _so I do it for you then? Because we can go back to my apartment right now and I can make you forget about everyone else past and present._

“Yeah,” Kylo told him, pushing himself back from the bar and stretching to his full height. “Pretty sure he’s my soulmate.”

Hux instantly felt himself deflate. This was either a pretty creative shut-down or the guy really thought he had a soulmate out there. Either way, it didn’t sound like a win for Hux.

“How could you be sure?” he asked, trying to sound like he wasn’t disappointed.

Someone shouted for Kylo from down the bar, and Kylo turned his head to look, signalling that he’d be right there. His gaze swung back to Hux.

“I have a break in half an hour,” he said. “You can come out back with me and I’ll tell you more.”

Hux’s lips parted in surprise, not expecting his bumbled attempt to ask his hot bartender out to end up as a cigarette break behind the building and a story about an ancient crush. But it was a chance to be alone with Kylo.

He shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll come,” he said, “if only to convince you that soulmates aren’t a thing.” He smiled, to take any offence out of the statement.

“They’re not?” Kylo asked, backing a few steps down the rail toward the waitress who’d just shouted his name a second time.

“No,” Hux told him. “There’s more than one person out there for everyone. Infinite others.”

Kylo cocked his head, looking at Hux intently. “No,” he finally said, almost too lowly for Hux to hear him. “There’s not.”

Kylo was walking away then, transforming back into his customer service persona, and Hux watched him while slowly starting to wonder if any of that had just happened, or if he’d imagined it. He was still looking when Kylo caught his eyes again and signed a three and a zero with one hand.

He’d been waiting for almost a year for this chance, so what was thirty more minutes? It gave him time to prepare an argument, to assemble enough evidence to prove that whoever Kylo Ren was talking about paled in comparison to Armitage Hux.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh guys thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos and encouragement! I am still working on answering everyone but I'm excited to do so! As you all know, I don't usually update things this fast haha! I hope you enjoy this new installment! Please be patient with Hux. He's dense.

Hux half expected Phasma to appear at his shoulder to congratulate him on a job well done or to laugh at him, since of course it all had to be a practical joke. He’d asked Kylo Ren out, and while he hadn’t exactly said yes, he hadn’t said no either. 

Hux tried his best to look nonchalant about the whole situation, perched at the end of the bar and pretending not to watch Kylo, who was drawing pint after pint of beer for the wait staff. He’d finished his drink in one long swallow after Kylo had walked away, and now sat with his fingers laced around the empty glass, too conscious of the way time seemed to expand and start to drag painfully by. 

He realized that he didn’t know what he was going to say when the moment finally came—getting the words out the first time, as unideal as  _ ‘do you have someone special’  _ had been—was a monumental achievement on his part. Hux’s last date had been someone his friend Dopheld had set him up with, and all that had involved (literally) was showing up at the agreed-upon place at the scheduled time and listening to the guy enjoy the sound of his own voice. 

Instead of stewing on it and making himself more anxious, Hux tugged his phone out of his pocket and pulled up the news. He was only partly distracted by it, because he was hyper-tuned to his crush, not wanting to miss the little window of time he’d been offered should it come early. 

He jumped, therefore, when a hand touched his shoulder, and he turned his head sharply to find one of the servers—a brown-haired girl he thought was named Rey—holding a bottle in the space between them. 

“Here,” she said. “From Kylo.”

When Hux just stared at the bottle dumbly, Possibly-Rey tilted it toward him, waggling it gently and lifting both eyebrows at him sharply in an _‘I have other shit to do’_ expression. Hux grabbed the bottle out of her hand and mumbled thanks to her departing back. 

Hux had never ordered a beer from Kylo—he stuck to bourbon and, when he was feeling nostalgic, a good red wine. He turned the bottle around in his hand so he could see the label, curious, and instantly flushed. Printed in red and white, the sticker declared the beer “Red Fox Ale,” complete with a creature of the same name in a waistcoat, balancing two pilsners on a tray.

He bit the inside of his bottom lip hard to keep from grinning like a kid as he turned back to the bar, beer in hand. Like Kylo had a sixth sense, he looked up at that exact moment, meeting Hux’s eyes and flashing him that perfect, lopsided grin, making Hux’s stomach swoop. 

Hux managed to return the smile, feeling slightly dizzy as he clutched the bottle. A long moment passed by before he realized that was  _ all _ he was doing—sitting there and cradling the beer while the glass warmed in his palm.

He spent the next twenty minutes or so sipping from the bottle, which wasn’t bad, as far as beers went. He did his level best to keep his eyes on his phone, browsing the news until that got too depressing, then he turned on Mahjong Tiles until Kylo appeared on Hux’s side of the bar. 

He leaned against the rail casually, and Hux loved the way he was tall enough to look down at him. Hux hated being taller than the men he dated, but at 6’1, that didn’t leave him with a lot of options. 

“You know we don’t even carry this beer here?” Kylo said, touching the bottle he’d sent to Hux with one finger. “A friend of mine brought it to a party like, four months ago and I stole one and hid it in the back of the cooler here hoping I’d have the nerve to give it to you one day.” 

Hux realized his mouth was hanging open and shut it for a second before he said, “That’s...the kind of story people tell their grandkids at their 50th wedding anniversary party.” Then, par for the course, he wished he hadn’t said it.  _ Wedding anniversary. Not coming on too strong at all, Hux.  _  He cleared his throat, clutching the beer bottle closer to his chest, determined to stash it somewhere at home so he’d remember this. “It’s pretty brilliant,” he added.

Kylo didn’t seem put off by the mention of weddings, at least. Instead, he seemed to light up briefly before tilting his head toward the back of the bar. “You still want to go outside?”

Hux nodded, sliding off the bar stool and taking his beer with him. He couldn’t help admiring the view as Kylo walked ahead, his skin-tight, black jeans hugging a fantastic ass and toned thighs. Hux couldn’t remember whether he’d ever seen anyone quite so gorgeous, and he’d been thinking that for the last year.

The bar was crowded—tonight was trivia night, and that had long been Hux’s valid cover for haunting the place every Thursday. Kylo, who of course never played since he worked there, still shouted the answers now and then from behind the bar, and he was generally always right. That was one of the factors that had pushed Hux—an admitted sapiosexual—over the threshold from seeing Kylo as just someone he’d love to fuck, to someone he wanted to  _ know.  _

And now here he was, slipping through the door Kylo held open for him and stepping out into the narrow alley behind The Dark Side. Kylo joined him, letting the door thunk shut behind him. 

Leaning against the wall, Kylo tugged a nearly flattened packet of cigarettes out of his pocket, shaking them out and offering one to Hux. Hux rarely smoked, but his nerves were buzzing, so he plucked one out. It was partly crushed, split open in the middle, and the aroma of cloves wafted to his nose. A lighter clicked, and Kylo held up the flame, keeping it steady while Hux lit the cigarette. 

“Thanks,” Hux mumbled around the butt.

Kylo smiled, holding the pack out to him. “These are yours,” he said, and before Hux could protest he added, “You left them here last week.” 

Hux took the pack dazedly, not remembering that. He turned his head to blow the smoke away from Kylo, squinting at the label on the front, only dimly recognizing the brand. When he did buy the things, it was usually in a fit of pique, and, true to form, they disappeared whenever the current anxiety-inducing crisis had blown past.

“Huh,” he said, offering one to Kylo, who shook his head.

“Don’t smoke. Just use ‘em sometimes to lure cute redheads into back alleys.” 

Hux coughed, smiling, and flicked the nearly intact cigarette on the ground, crushing it with the toe of his loafer. He wished he had some gum, but settled for a swig of his beer. 

“So,” he said, turning the beer bottle around to point the label at Kylo. “You’ve thought I was cute all this time, but never asked me out?”

“Figured I wasn’t your type,” Kylo said, his eyes—dark now, in the alley—searching Hux’s face like he expected him to confirm that. 

Hux’s eyes trailed down Kylo’s body and back to his face before he caught himself. Kylo didn’t miss it, but fortunately looked more pleased than offended. 

“I’m surprised you aren’t brimming with self-confidence,” Hux admitted. “I mean…” he waved a hand toward the bar. “You have maybe fifteen people in your thrall at any given time.” 

Kylo glanced at the door they’d just come through, like he could see what Hux was talking about through the walls, like he wasn’t actually aware of his charms. Hux wanted to take a fistful of his form-fitting black t-shirt and tug him into a kiss and  _ show _ him. His hand actually twitched at the thought, and he had to curl his fingers into a fist to stop himself. 

When Kylo turned back to him, Hux blurted the first thing that came to mind, because that was, apparently, what he did when he was nervous. 

“So what do you usually do with the cute redheads you lure out here?”

Kylo’s laugh was short and bright, and the sound of it vibrated in Hux’s chest. 

“This is the farthest I’ve gotten with one,” he said, pinching his bottom lip between his teeth. 

Hux swayed closer, pulled in by Kylo’s magnetism, then stopped himself. “Is that because you’re hung up on this particular one you met when you were eleven?” He said this with a lighthearted tone, he hoped, not wanting Kylo to think he was chiding him. 

Kylo’s slightly crooked, white teeth flashed in another grin. “Well, like I said, I knew him all the way through high school.” 

Hux cocked an eyebrow. “Did you ever ask him out?” 

“I thought about it. I wrote him about a hundred emails I never sent. Think I still have a notebook of sappy love poetry somewhere I tried to think of some way to use. But…” Kylo shuffled just a few inches closer, his shoes making a soft scuffing noise on the ground. “...like I said, he was older than me. Like, he was a senior when I was a freshman. He’d have laughed at me.”

“Well you can’t know that for sure, can you?” Hux asked, though Kylo was probably right. “How old are you, anyway? I’ve never asked.”

Kylo raised both eyebrows. “Twenty-nine.”

“Well I’m thirty-four,” he said. “Five years doesn’t feel like much.”

“Would have then, don’t you think?” 

Hux shrugged one shoulder, amused by this hypothetical conversation. “Depends on whether you had an early growth spurt and were quite this convincing.” 

Kylo wrinkled his nose, which made his eyes squint. “That wasn’t until about sixteen,” he said. “H...he was long gone by then.”

“Oh? Where did he go?” Wherever it was, Hux was glad.

“Somewhere in California,” Kylo said, cocking his head and looking into Hux’s eyes like this was a trivia question he should know the answer to. “He went to college out there. He was really smart. I remember watching him give his valedictorian speech. He has these elegant hands, pale with long fingers, and I could tell he was really nervous, because they were shaking. I just wanted to climb up on the stage and grab his hand and hold it.”

“Speeches are horrifying,” Hux said darkly. “I was actually valedictorian of my class, and had to give one, and I threw up in the gymnasium bathroom before I went on stage.”

Kylo cleared his throat behind a loosely curled fist, his eyes watering a bit with amusement. Hux started to bristle, since he didn’t find his past humiliation funny, but then he felt Kylo’s fingers on his. His heart skipped a beat as Kylo lifted Hux’s hand aloft between them, like a 19th century gentleman about to bow over it with a kiss. Instead, Kylo ran a calloused thumb over Hux’s knuckles softly, and Hux shivered at the near electric sensation. 

“You have pretty hands, just like he did,” Kylo said. “I’ve always thought so.” 

Hux’s brain was threatening to white out with thoughts like  _ well you can have them on you whenever you want, wherever you want _ , but instead he said, “It’s a shame you never told him how you felt.” 

Kylo shrugged. “Maybe there’s still time.” 

Hux’s warm, pleased feeling started to chill over. He’d thought at first that this was just some variety of peculiar flirtation, but was Kylo actually serious? Was he hung up on some boy from his past for real? 

He pulled his hand away, tucking it under his arm. “If you’re not looking for anything right now, I understand,” he said, embarrassed at the gravelly, disappointed sound of his own voice. 

Kylo’s eyes went round and he looked genuinely chagrined. “I am,” he said. “I just…sorry. It’s all in the past. I’m just tragically sentimental.”

Hux didn’t know what to say to that. He was decidedly the most unsentimental person on the planet. Kylo, however, saved him from needing to respond when he abruptly leaned across the few inches separating them. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, close enough that his words were warm against Hux’s lips. 

Hux, frozen, could only nod.

Kylo closed the remaining distance then completely, touching his lips to Hux’s so softly and carefully it was like he was afraid Hux would vanish in a cloud of smoke. Hux closed his eyes, drinking in the gentle press of those lips, his heart thumping hard against his rib cage and his palms sweating like a teenager having his very first kiss. He stopped breathing, swaying closer to Kylo, opening for the brush of a tongue against his own, but it never came. 

Kylo’s warmth was replaced by empty, October air, and Hux opened his eyes, blinking away stars. His mouth was still open, and it took him a handful of seconds to make it close. Kylo’s was too, and he looked just as dazed as Hux felt. 

“I’ve wanted to do that forever,” Kylo murmured, reaching up to stroke his knuckles over the ridge of Hux’s cheekbone. “You have no idea.” 

Hux was speechless for a long moment, struggling to come back to himself. Finally, eloquently, he said, “Feel free to do it again.” 

Kylo’s face crinkled with laughter and the moment seemed to pass, leaving just two people in a bar outside an alley, instead of two souls caught in the same pocket of fate. 

“I have to get back to work,” he said.

Hux couldn’t help deflating, even though this was the inevitable conclusion. “Later then?” he asked hopefully.

Kylo surprised him by leaning in again and pressing another kiss to Hux’s mouth, this one just a bit harder.

“Definitely,” he said, drawing back. “I’m off Monday night. Go out with me?”

Hux felt a thrill of vicarious excitement, like this was all happening to someone else. Like he was watching his favorite series on TV and his ship was finally becoming canon. 

“Like, on a real date?” he asked. 

Kylo opened the door, the happy, boisterous din of the bar spilling out into the fall night. “Yes,” he said, sounding just as buoyant as Hux felt. “A real date. Like maybe we could have gone on a long time ago if I’d just asked.” 

“Definitely,” Hux echoed. “And um...maybe we should exchange contact information?”

Kylo took Hux’s phone when Hux offered it, tapping his info into it. “You like that Italian place on James and Main, over in Arkanis, right?” he asked. “The one with Chicago style pizza?” 

Hux squinted at him. “Yeah, but how’d you know that?” Arkanis was the town he’d grown up in, about twenty miles south.

Kylo looked at him with round eyes, handing the phone back. “Just heard you mention it once,” he said. 

Hux slipped the phone back in his pocket. “Oh. Well, yeah.” He smiled. “That sounds really good, actually.”

“You afraid of motorcycles?”

“Not if I’m not driving.” 

Kylo grinned. “I can handle that.”

He held the door open for Hux, who walked through it reluctantly, like he was waking up from a particularly perfect dream. He’d never expected any of this, never expected Kylo to actually  _ want _ him, to say yes, to kiss him. But Hux wanted more of it. A lot more. 

All he had to do was make it to Monday.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to update this! 
> 
> Please be patient with Hux. Kylo is. ;)

Objectively speaking, Monday night was the least ideal night of the week for a date. Especially a first date. No one was possibly at their best on a Monday, as being well-rested was impossible, and everything that _could_ go wrong always did. Hux’s Monday was no exception. 

He’d tossed and turned on Sunday night until well after three a.m., agonizing over the smallest, hypothetical details of his date with Kylo--what to wear, how to style his hair in anticipation of a motorcycle ride, whether he should have a condom in his wallet or if that was way too forward. Or desperate. 

When he finally did drift off, he dreamed about that speech he’d given as his high school valedictorian, only he’d forgotten to wear clothes, and everyone was laughing at him, and he was frozen on stage, unable to run. Kylo had been in the audience, too, and so was the principle of his school, Ms. Organa, who Hux hadn’t thought about for years. At some point, Kylo had come up onto the stage and taken Hux’s hand and then Hux could finally move, and then he’d woken up, tangled in his sheets and sweating, heart beating out of his chest. 

He’d dragged himself into the shower at half-past six, and stood like a zombie under the spray, re-thinking his date. How would Kylo possibly find anything to like about him, once he found out that Hux was as dull as they came? Hux was the guy who went to work in a starched shirt and a tie, worked in a research and development department, and ate the same thing for lunch every day. He had exactly two friends--his coworker Dopheld, and his cat, Millicent.

Hux’s apartment was too big for one person, too, which made him feel even more sad and pathetic. He brushed his teeth and arranged his hair at a vanity with His and Her’s sinks, one side of which was pristine and unused, and had been that way since he'd bought the place four years ago. There was one toothbrush, one hand towel, one bottle of soap, and only ever one reflection in the mirror. 

By the time Hux shuffled out of his bathroom on his way to the closet, he’d decided the best course of action, to save himself from ultimate embarrassment, was to cancel his plans with Kylo, change his name, and move to another state. Then he saw that his phone was flashing with a message, and realized Kylo had probably beaten him to it. 

He stood in the center of the room staring at the nightstand where his phone was plugged into its charger.  The little table on Hux’s side was aesthetically cluttered, with a modern lamp, a novel, an essential oil mister, a picture of him (alone) in front of the Apollo shuttle, and a box of Kleenex. The matching table on the other side had a twin lamp, and that was it. 

He thought about leaving the message until later, when he was at work and surrounded by distractions, but Hux had always been the ‘get it over with’ sort. So he walked over with determination, grabbed his phone, and opened it with his fingerprint. 

 **< hot bartender>** _I can’t wait to see you tonight! ❤_

Hux immediately flushed, a wave of unexpected pleasure bursting like a supernova in his chest. He chewed on his bottom lip while a smile made his cheeks feel tight, then he tapped a daring reply. 

_Me too._

<hot bartender> _Is it weird for me to be nervous? It’s not like we haven’t met before. Haha. A few times._

_I am too._

Hux typed _“you’ll realize I’m boring and socially awkward,”_ then erased it, having read in a self-help book about how to win friends and influence people that self-deprecation put people off. 

 _I dreamed about you last night_ , he began, then erased that too. 

He finally settled on, “ _I think this day is going to pass unnaturally slowly, with time-dilation making clocks moving relative to me seem to tick slower than clocks in my frame of reference.”_

 **< hot bartender>** _You’re such a geek. I love it._ 😍

 **< hot bartender> ** _Sure you don’t want to just call in to work and spend the whole day with me?_

Hux was taken aback by the suggestion, because he’d never called in sick to work--not once in the last half-decade. Even considering it felt edgy and exciting, and he almost said yes. Almost.

 _I do, but I shouldn’t._ He hesitated, then decided on a compromise. _I could leave early, though. After my noon meeting._

<hot bartender> Really? I can pick you up outside your building at 12:30?

Hux grinned, already feeling like he’d done something terribly foolhardy, but exciting. _Yes. Don’t forget to bring a helmet for me if there’s a motorcycle involved._

< **hot bartender** > Of course, silly. I’ll see you then. 💕

Hux typed “Okay,” and then floated to his closet on a wave of happiness, feeling like he’d suddenly stepped into someone else’s life. He stood staring at his rows of uniform, white dress shirts for only a moment before pushing them to the side and taking out a pastel green that he’d bought on a whim but never worn before. He picked out a paisley tie in rich blues and dark greens, even though he’d probably take it off before getting on Kylo’s bike, since that seemed like a wise choice. 

He fed his cat and left the house in a buoyant mood, ready to conquer the day as quickly and efficiently as possible, and smiled all the way to the train station until he realized he’d forgotten his phone. 

While he was walking back to his condo, it started raining. Though it was October, it was an unusually warm day, and so Hux hadn’t worn a jacket. By the time he got home, his shirt and his hair were soaked, but he couldn’t find it in him to be upset. He had five hours to dry out. 

He took a Lyft to the office to save time, got to his desk at eight A.M. on the dot, and found he didn’t have his shoulder-bag, which had his laptop, which had his notes for the presentation he had to give at noon. Instead of going back to his condo a second time, Hux spent the next four hours frantically typing up his proposal on the design of an intelligent guidance system, which, he’d hoped, would land him a private industry contract. 

He finished re-writing his presentation, paced his office rehearsing it while trying not to be sick at his stomach with nerves, and was on the way down the hall to the board room when his colleague passed him going the other direction, telling him the meeting was postponed until Wednesday morning. 

So Hux rode the elevator down from the seventeenth floor, went outside, and sat on a bench in front of the building. It had stopped raining some time earlier, and there was a crisp breeze and a bright, powder-blue sky. The clouds were scattered now, were clean white and puffy, and breathing in the fresh air calmed Hux’s nerves. He took his phone out and sent Kylo a text. 

_My meeting got cancelled, and I’m cancelling my work day before I throw myself out my office window._

Kylo replied almost immediately.

< **hot bartender** > _Nooooo! Don’t do that! Want me to come pick you up now?_

_Are you sure that’s not inconvenient?_

< **hot bartender** > Just say yes. 

_Okay, yes. Please._

Kylo sent him another smiley face, and Hux felt the expression mirrored on his own face. Clutching his phone in his lap, he watched the traffic roll by, looking back and forth down First Street for any sign of a motorcycle. 

He quickly lost himself in thought, picturing Thursday night and the way Kylo’s brown eyes had looked so bright when they’d stood in the alley behind the bar, and how they’d stayed closed after he kissed Hux like he was savoring a fine wine. The memory of that kiss made Hux feel tingly inside, warm. He wanted more.

He heard Kylo’s motorcycle before he saw it--a deep rumble that echoed off the tall buildings and sounded like it was coming from everywhere at once. Hux started to stand up to walk to the curb, but then wondered if that would make him look too eager, so he stayed perched on the bench. Nevertheless, watching Kylo coast down the street and angle his bike up onto the edge of the sidewalk, Hux couldn’t help smiling somewhat foolishly. 

Kylo was looking up at the tall building behind Hux, having apparently not seen him, and as he took out his cell phone and started to type, Hux jumped up and waved at him. 

“Over here!”

Kylo froze, saw Hux, and then smiled the same big, pleased smile that Hux was wearing. 

“Hey,” he said, shoving his phone back in the pocket of those blessedly tight black jeans. He took his helmet off and set it on the bike seat, then met Hux halfway between the street and the building. He started to lean down as though to kiss him, but paused, his soft brown eyes suddenly unsure. 

“Hi,” Hux said, rocking forward on the balls of his feet and tilting his head to steal the kiss Kylo had been offering. Hux felt him smile before he pulled back. 

“You want to come up?” Hux asked on an impulse. “See where I work?” 

Kylo turned his eyes back to the building that loomed behind Hux, looking up along the lines of it, then back. “Totally,” he said. “Do I get to see the secret lab?” 

Hux laughed, turning away to lead Kylo into the building. He wanted to reach back and take his hand, but stopped himself. “I mean, it’s not that secret,” he said. “But kind of cool. I think. To me at least, since I’m a giant nerd.” 

He was babbling again, and felt himself coloring slightly as he ducked onto the elevator and pressed the button for his floor. 

“I like that about you,” Kylo murmured, standing much closer to him than he needed to, considering the elevator was spacious and otherwise empty. 

Hux briefly entertained the idea of Kylo reaching around him to hit the emergency stop button and pushing him back against the wall to kiss him. “Was your dream guy a giant nerd?” he asked instead, flashing Kylo what he hoped was a coy smile.

Kylo mirrored the expression, looking amused as well. “He definitely was. He had this super cool science project one year where he made hovercraft out of old CDs. Still don’t know how he did it.” 

Hux felt a cold tingle go up his spine. He’d done a project just like that his freshman year, but...there was no way Kylo was talking about him. Besides, it wasn’t a terribly original idea. He’d found it in the illustrious text _Top 10 Geeky Science Projects You Can Do At Home._

“There’s nothing to it, really. Just forced air from a balloon, released at the right rate below the surface of the CD,” he murmured, eyeing Kylo’s face suspiciously. 

Before the conversation could go further, the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. Hux led Kylo out and down the hall, realizing he should be giving a tour with actual words, but feeling suddenly off-balance. All the little puzzle pieces Kylo had handed him about this mysterious boy from his past were starting to be remarkably uncanny in a way Hux didn’t know how to address. 

He arrived at the door to his office without saying anything, opened it, and gestured Kylo in, adopting an enthusiastic expression. 

“So this is my office,” he said as Kylo slipped inside. 

“I figured it would be full of robots and computers,” Kylo teased. 

Hux shut the door after them. “Well, I do have those, but this is sadly where I do most of my work lately. Schematics and analysis and technical writing. And a lot of coding.” He rounded the desk to face the monitor of his computer, and Kylo followed. A nudge of the mouse brought up the last thing Hux had been working on.

“That’s...interesting,” Kylo said, staring at the screen full of code. “What is it?”

“I’m programming a drone,” Hux told him, a tinge of pride in his voice. “It’s one of several I built, which will be able to carry out complex construction tasks in zero-gravity. I’ll be taking everything to California in a few months to test it, and if it works, I’m hoping to be part of SpaceX’s commercial program. Colonizing Mars, and all.” 

Kylo looked at him, and Hux was taken aback by the way his eyes seemed _disappointed_ , of all things. It was very much not the reaction Hux had been hoping for. 

“So, after all this time, I finally get to go out with you, and you’ll be going to Mars in a few months?” Kylo asked in an incredulous tone. 

A burst of laughter escaped Hux’s mouth. He shook his head vigorously. “No, not at all. Just California, if I’m lucky.”

“Lucky…” Kylo muttered, looking away and hanging his head. He fidgeted uncomfortably with the edge of Hux’s desk, running his finger over the edge and sighing. “So you were just looking for something short term, huh?”

Hux floundered, stepping closer and putting his hand on Kylo’s forearm. “No! I mean, it’s not the other side of the universe,” he said. “There are phones...and airplanes.” 

Kylo looked up at him with sad eyes. “Right. Phones and airplanes.” 

Hux wanted to offer more reassurances--something like _‘and if it works out, you can always come live with me_ ,’ but that was entirely too much at this early stage, even if the thought of that made his stomach flutter. 

“I guess I understand if you...want to just call this off,” Hux said quietly. “I wasn’t even thinking about California when I asked you out. I just...wanted to be with you. That was the only thing on my mind.”

Kylo was watching Hux’s hand on his forearm, and when Kylo started to pull away, Hux’s heart sank. But instead of breaking their connection, Kylo linked their fingers together and pulled Hux close to him.

“Phones and airplanes,” he said again, kissing Hux softly, briefly. “It’s better than nothing. I’d have loved to have your phone number the last time you were there.” 

Hux blinked. “I didn’t even know you wanted it,” he said defensively. “Or I’d have given it to you.” His last trip to California, six months ago to meet with SpaceX engineers had been exciting, but lonely, since he’d had no one to share that excitement with back home. 

Kylo laughed under his breath, nuzzling his nose against Hux’s with a sigh. “For someone as smart as you are, you can be incredibly dense.” 

Hux felt like he should probably bristle at that, but Kylo had him dazed, as always. “Well, it wasn’t like you were making any moves.” 

“You’re right,” Kylo admitted, pecking his lips again and squeezing his hand before drawing back. “But at least you finally saw me.” 

“I’ve always seen you,” Hux said, confused. “From the first minute I walked into that bar. It was hard to see anything else, honestly.” 

Kylo made a low noise that Hux couldn’t translate and then changed the subject. “Let’s go get lunch. You can tell me about your drones.” 

The conversation in the elevator sprang to the forefront of Hux’s mind, and he almost asked Kylo if there was something he was missing, if _he_ had been that red-headed boy that he’d had such a crush on years ago. But stuff like that didn’t happen to people like Hux--fairy-tale, glass slipper, Sleeping Beauty type stuff. 

And so he put the thought out of his head. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
